Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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