As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
