so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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