I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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