on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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