I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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