she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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