i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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