Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
