i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
