70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
