what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
