it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
