The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
