So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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