call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
