Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
