well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
