Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
