i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
