real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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