You just made me feel so damn special
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
