My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
