Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
