Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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