you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
