He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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