We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
