I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
