just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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