ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You ate ashes out of my bong
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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