How'd it feel making her break her religion?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
