He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
They left me at home... I'm a liability
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
