is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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