He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
