I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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