I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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