Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
