i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
