i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
