I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
