I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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