Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
