Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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