I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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