Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Floor bacon is actually really good
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
