im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
