Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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