Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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