well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize