she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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