I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I said "one day" and that day is not today
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
