I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
