dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
