The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
