She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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