Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
