Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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