To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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