Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
