I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
