Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
