Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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