Someone shit on the floor
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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