i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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