I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
