Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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