I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
