So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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