he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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